So I think about prayer a lot and I`m not very good at it and it still frightens me, but I'm also fascinated by it, and I want to be better at it so I think I'm going to talk about it regularly.
I borrowed a book about praqyer called "Anyone can Pray" By Graeme Davidson . I haven't read much of it yet but I like it so far. He talks about prayer in really simple terms
"All you need to do is focus on God and let him reach out to you. It helps if you have the right attitude: humility and a genuine desire to communicate. That's all it takes"I always thought of prayer as me reaching out to God, striving really hard to say the right things and hoping he hears me. I never thought about it as me being in one place and God coming to me, that makes is seem so much more manageable.
The book also talks about why we pray, what the point of it is.
We Pray to God because he loves us and because we want to love him. People in love enjoy being close to each other.They want to know how their partner thinks and feels and what they can do to make him or her happy. if i tild you how much I love my wife and then added I hadnt bothered to communicate with her for the last couple of years, or that i only got in touch at a sunday function or when theres a crisis, youd doubt my sincerity.I'm actually not one of the people who goes to God when there's a crisis or when I feel terrible. I'm fine and find it easy going to God when everything is good, when my life is going well, when the sun is shining, when my mental health is manageable, when my body doesn't hurt too much, I don't have any problem going to God then. Its when life isn't so good that I find it difficult, that I feel guilty for taking up Gods time and space, that I feel guilty for not being a happy grateful Christian all the time. Partly thats about the same thing i talked about in my depression post, growing up in an environment where if you struggle you are thought of as doing Christianity wrong and not having enough faith. But that doesn't make sense does it? God loves us on the good days and the bad days, he wants to hear from us even when everything is wrong and everything is hurting? God is big enough that we can go to him with everything
"You can share all your thoughts, feelings, and experiences - your joys, sorrows, problems, fears, hopes failures, embarrassments and thoughts - in the full knowledge that God will understand and love you."One of the things I've been having a problem with i think is that I've always seen prayer as a sort of poetry. I was talking to Best Friend about this and she knows when i write poetry i draft and redraft, make sure all the exact words I want are in the exact places i want them, and she pointed out to me that while poetry can be prayers, and prayers can be poetry they don't have to be, if prayer is a conversation you can just say the words as they come to you, without worrying about it. And I didn't know this but she has recently joined the prayer team in her church and she sent me some of the ones shed written as examples that might be useful to me. Here's just a couple of them
Dear Lord, thank you that we can come to you with our cares, and forgive us when we forget this and spend more time and effort in worrying than in focusing on your word and the peace you so willingly and lovingly give us.
Thank you Lord that when we do turn to you, you are there, waiting, to listen and to take the burden of worries off our shoulders and to fill us again with your love. You have known us since the beginning and have a plan for us. Help us to remember that.I think they are beautiful in their simplicity and are much more conversational than poetic. I use them when I am struggling with approaching God
I've also started using christian themed adult coloring books as ways of doing meditative prayers. I used to think that adult colouring books were the Naffest Thing Ever, but about two years ago I realized that i actually have a really big issue with anxiety (I told Best Friend this and she laughed for about a week and said "But you are always anxious about everything!!" what can I say? My emotional literacy sucks!) And I found colouring books were a really good way of soothing some of my anxiety issues. So when I started thinking about prayer I bought some that I thought would be useful. I'm not very good at coloring but that's ok, I don't need to be, it just creates a space for me to calm myself and be with God. None of them are finished yet because I just pick whatever one I feel is most appropriate for that prayer session.
